Our souls long for love. A tender touch that can only render inside. An expression that every person craves. At times, we can wonder where such love can be? Love can feel so dim inside a lonely heart. What would life be like without love? For we would not know the true meaning of this world, the true depths of relationships and friendships – for what we have and what we hope for is bound in love.
A common trait among those who become mentally unwell is lack of self-love. We tend to give more to other people’s needs than our own. We tend to care for others, more than we care for ourselves. We tend to love deeply, and hurt deeply, and neglect to give that same love to ourselves, but it seems we have no issue in blaming ourselves for the hurt.
However, it is not just mental health sufferers who are not great in self-love. Adults who have not suffered from trauma or been diagnosed with a mental health disorder, also struggle with it. From my research, the average mental health sufferer reported 50.3% and the average healthy adult reported 55% that they regularly self-love.
Self-love is a prerequisite to belief in self. Believing in ourselves is one of the strongest internal validations we can have to build our self-worth, have hope, be successful and build a stronger foundation. Without self-love, we would struggle to believe that we can truly make it.
Have you ever felt incredibly stuck? And in that stuck place, a part of you is slowly dying. I felt within me a longing to be nurtured, of who I am with no pretence, no falsehood or invisible masks, no compromise. I have learned that being stuck requires action. If we know how to care and love others beyond description, then we should be able to apply those same principles to ourselves. I must admit it is harder though! We have to start off with the belief that we deserve love, care, attention; and when we start to believe, we then see that receiving love is much easier too.
If you have no reserves in loving, caring and nurturing yourself; what would your world look like?
For me, it will be a world of freedom, love, compassion. There will be boundaries. It will most definitely be a safe haven. A place of no fear. A place I can know my needs and wants and freely give me the chance to receive them. A place I offer genuine care and concern as I have done for others for so long, but to also freely give that to me too. This world will have a solid foundation, surrounded by nature, beauty, peace and acceptance; so that when I walk into my world I will feel empowered to be me.
Ultimately, the more we can love ourselves, the better we will be in serving and helping others and also in receiving their love in return. It’s a win-win.
Publication on self-love will be out September 2021.